What I've learned from Relationships Thus far

So last night Evan and I were talking on Skype, as usual since we started talking somewhere that wasn't twitter, and somehow we got to talking about how it's easy for girls to hide if they're aroused. The question I posed to him, say when we finally hang out, IF I showed you I was interested in you and wanted a little something from you, would you reject me?, was met with the answer of: depends. Now the conversation goes from there by the explanation of the depends and what not. Now I just want to say this: a good portion of our conversation about that was me just reassuring him that I understood where he and I both were at this moment with each other and that, because of where my head is right now, I can't be in a relationship at all. He and I are too new of being friends for me to be in one with him anyways.

I'm really glad he and I got that out in the open. Am I attracted to him? Yes. Evan is an amazing person and I'm very attracted to him as it stands now. But this conversation with him didn't say things are going to stay at friends or move past that. Evan and I left it out in the open in a very comfortable spot, I believe, and maybe a bit down the road, it'll go one way or another. It'll hit that fork in the road and it'll take one or the other. So he didn't outright reject me. No he did the complete opposite of what I expected him to say (either an outright yes, I'd reject you or a No I'd go for what you were offering me).

Over the last few years, I've learned something from the few relationships I've been in. Relationships where you've just sorta kind of met the person and you don't know very well, head one way too fast and then you're either not in the relationship or you are, based on getting to a specific point too early in the relationship. They end badly with one or both parties resenting the others. And I'm sick of that happening with me. I've learned what I want in that department (which is really odd because I don't have a clear vision of who I am as a person and what I want for myself right now). If I'm going to be in a relationship with someone and potentially fall in love with them, it's going to be a friend, a friend that I know very well and am comfortable 100% around. I'm sick of there being no foundation of trust, understanding, and comfortableness around relationships and them failing. I'm tired of watching relationships fail because the people involved don't know and understand each other.

At this point, I'm glad I know that Evan and I can come to that fork in the road with our relationship down the line and have to decide: Relationship or just stay friends. And I think that, based on how things are right now, we could go either way and things would be good :) Things would be very good.