Promises

to you I promise

to try and stop

to try and break my addiction

to try and break the cycle

to you I promise

to let you help me through

this agony

this loneliness I feel

to you I promise

to stop the hurting

to put down the razor

to force myself to eat

for you I promise
to stop taking more than the reccomended dosage
and take only what is required
no more than that

for you I promise
to wake up each morning
and find the beauty in the sunrise
and go to bed having found something good that day

for you I promise
to be grateful for the life I live
and for the life I am going to live
and not blame myself for things beyond my control

to you I promise this

that I will get better

because I want to live to see you in person

to give you a hug

to you I promise

that when we meet

it won't be in a hospital bed

or at my graveside

to you I promise 

to stop hurting myself

and learn to heal

rather than not